I have a bit of a mountain to climb and I would be very grateful for some advice.
Pressure is increasing on me to teach and demonstrate clicker training and, while I'm very comfortable with people watching my ponies and I perform I'm very uncomfortable with trying to teach or shift the focus onto myself and what I'm doing.
It feels big-headed and as though I'm showing off. I hate the way it makes me feel so much I don't know if I can or should even try to overcome this barrier. I try very hard not to be too self conscious and, of course, to teach I'd have to be completely self-conscious.
I know I can do it, and I know exactly how to go about it but inside I'm screaming "I HATE this, don't listen to me, I know nothing!!!!" I'm much happier just calmly and quietly working away training on my own.
This is not a new thing with me, it's just more intense now. Maybe I should listen to my own head and not try to tackle this now, or maybe even ever, but that feels a bit like cowardice and I know I could make life easier for some owners and their horses if I didn't cop out.
Clicker training is just about precise communication, which comes relatively easily to me, and I can write about it but I hate myself being the centre of attention and I don't know how to get over this hurdle, or if I should try.
Please, if anyone has any thoughts on this? I know you were a teacher Jean and I know Hilary trained medics? Did you ever feel like this?
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