I had a 25yo Israeli Helpxer to stay for a few days last week, before she flew back to Isreal, and she did me so much good. She is the sweetest, kindest person you could ever wish to meet and very bright and enthusiastic about life.
We had long philosophical conversations and although she was a bit too 'New Age' for me at times she made realise how much I probably missed out on by deciding to leave school half way through A levels through sheer boredom.
I thought university would be like school but I went to a Laminitis Conference a couple of years ago that was really for vets and I loved having to work so hard to understand the finer details of the scientfic research and anaylisis. I suspected then that I might have enjoyed university and, on the basis that I need something new to really occupy my mind and expand both my knowledge and my horizons, I'm planning on enrolling with the Open University in September and hopefully build up to getting a degree.
I've been investigating the courses that might suit me and I think I'll probably start with an introduction to Psycology. I did wonder about Philosophy, or even Zoology or Marine Biology, but I'd like to understand more about how our minds work, not least my own!!!!!
I cancelled the log cabin and turned my bedroom into a den instead, with only things of mine that I love in it, and I now have one room in the house which feels like my home at last. I bought a pine dresser from the Oxfam Shop 2 weeks ago and was really excited about moving it in. On Saturday I went back there and bought a pine desk and a wicker chair for when I begin my OU course and they are being delivered on Wednesday. Next I'm going to begin on the other rooms and look for another person to share the house with. I will post photos, I promise!
My young Israeli visitor also had a couple of lessons on Grace. She had ridden a few times years ago but had very little in the way of control to begin with. I got her to sit centrally and stop leaning as if on a bike, then showed her how I ride mine using breathing as a big part of communication and got her to explore that and she did fantastically!!!! She was really taken with the whole idea and I may feel the need to do a bit more of that with other people at some stage.
I finally feel as though I'm beginning to take control of my destiny and find some purpose and direction. I've had some more quite upsetting events in the last couple of days, not least Flora, who is at the vets as I write, having an operation on a broken back leg where she pushed the Land Rover window open and jumped out when I was doing 30mph on route to taking them all for a walk in the forest early yesterday morning. I'm very worried about her but I've refused to let it floor me and I've stayed calm and optimistic throughout which is much more like my old self.
I think I really am back on an even keel at last!!!!!
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